When It’s Time to Leave Home

Submitted by Villas of Holly Brook

The decision about whether your parents should move is often tricky and emotional. Each family will have its own reasons for wanting (or not wanting) to take such a step. One family may decide a move is right because the parents can no longer manage the home. For another family, the need for hands-on care in a long-term care facility motivates a change.

For some caregivers, moving a sick or aging parent to their own home or community can be a viable alternative. Some families decide to have an adult child move back to the parent’s home to become the primary caregiver.

Keep in mind that leaving a home, community, and familiar medical care can be very disruptive and difficult for the older parent, especially if they are not enthusiastic about the change. You might first want to explore what services are available in your parents’ community to help them in their home—including home health care, housekeeping, personal care, and transportation services.

Older adults and their families have some options when it comes to deciding where to live, but these choices can be limited by factors such as illness, ability to perform activities of daily living (for example, eating, bathing, using the toilet, dressing, walking, and moving from bed to chair), financial resources, and personal preferences.

Making a decision that is best for your parent—and making that decision with your parent—can be difficult. Try to learn as much as you can about possible housing options.Older adults, or those with serious illness, can choose to:

Stay in their own home or move to a smaller one
Move to an assisted-living facility
Move to a long-term care facility
Move in with a family member

Some families find a conference call is a good way to talk together about the pros and cons of each option. The goal of this call is to come up with a plan that works for everyone, especially your parent. If the decision involves a move for your mom or dad, you could offer to arrange tours of some places for their consideration.

Experts advise families to think carefully before moving an aging adult into an adult child’s home. There are a lot of questions to consider, for example:

Is there space in your home?
Is someone around to help the older person during the whole day?
What are your parents able to do for themselves?
What personal care are you willing and able to provide—moving your parent from a chair to a bed or toilet, changing adult diapers, or using a feeding tube, for example?
What kinds of home care services are available in your community?
What kind of specialized medical care is available nearby?

At some point, support from family, friends, and local programs may not be enough. People who require help full-time might move to a residential facility that provides many or all of the long-term care services they need.

What Is Assisted Living?

Assisted living is for people who need help with daily care, but not as much help as a nursing home provides. Assisted living facilities range in size from as few as 25 residents to 120 or more. Typically, a few “levels of care” are offered, with residents paying more for higher levels of care.

Assisted living residents usually live in their own apartments or rooms and share common areas. They have access to many services, including up to three meals a day; assistance with personal care; help with medications, housekeeping, and laundry; 24-hour supervision, security, and on-site staff; and social and recreational activities. Exact arrangements vary among different facilities.

For more information, check out the Villas of Holly Brook and Reflections Memory Care website at www.villasofhollybrook.com. We have two communities in Bloomington and now in Streator, too. Call the Executive Director at one of these communities before you make a decision for your loved one’s care.